For some strange reason before Kelly rae posted her wrap up post today that this phrase went on several times in my head.
Be Kind to yourself.
I thought I'm doing a great job in getting myself so inspired and taking the initiative to participate in her e-course. I was painting, writing, blogging, reading and meditating and saying gratitude over and over again in my head. I tried to soak up and download as much information into my brain that it's fried. I thought, I want to be like her-creative, happy, successful, and popular.
I love visiting all these new blogs and seeing what everyone else is thinking and living. Their passion feels like fine, so raw, so exciting. And realized most of these women artists are like me, they are full of excitement, they are passionate, they are absoring all these contents and inspiration, their writing are bursting with new found energy.
And I will go back to painting, and blogging. And trying to practice all these things I've learnt all at once.
And within 2-3 days I noticed my breathing was inconsistent. My eyes were too tired from excessive exposure to the pc screen.
And I remembered the most basic of spiritual practice.
Love yourself. Be kind to yourself.
And I realized as much as I'd like to be successful, living the creative dreams that I envisioned for myself, being loved by this new artistic community that I've found. I know it's not going to happen all at once tomorrow.
I do need to take baby steps.
So I sat myself down and took a deep breath, and tell myself, (seriously, I babytalk to myself, these are the exact words) "Eva darling, you're going to be gentle and kind to yourself, you're on something BIG, but you are going on a comfortable pace, so take one step at a time)
And then my breath was more consistent, the whole sky suddenly opens up for me and I know.
I just need to trust.
That good things will happened for me. I don't have to rush. The creative journey is a lifelong journey. Because it is my life. And I take ownership of it.
And I just feel more relaxed, more myself.
And all is well.
p.s. I hope everyone else taking this e-course is treating themselves with gentle kindness and not be overwhelmed. Trust and have faith that this creative path will work for them.
I'm in Queenstown in NZ, cold weather. It snows today. Beautiful weather and calming landscape. I think it's good I'm taking a break for some fresh air, and this country is healing me and I know after all this rest, I'm going back to Malaysia with a new found excitement and positive energy. =)