I've been contemplating on love, how it is the only purpose of our lives at the end of the day. Each moment of living is the exchange of love, receiving and giving of love.
I read Georgianna Das's "The Goddess Within" and in one of her chapters on intimate relationships, she says
"We are surrounded by soul mates if we allow ourselves to connect to each person with innocence, truth, love and openness...
When we love it may not returned, but I believe, it comes back, with a higher force, from someone else, another lover or sometimes in the form of a blessing or even a miracle. And, you wondered sometimes, when good things happen in your life, what did you do to deserve it.
It was ALL because of the brave love you so freely gave, when you could have chosen not to. Because love is love, it never waits for love in return, it is devoid of all expectations."
If you're like me and everyone else, because we're essentially composed and strewn with the same divine stitch that is pure love, and you're not afraid to love and be loved, then you know love tears us apart, so that darkness and our shadows is revealed and if we dare, we will forever change and be transformed by light. Then you know that love wounds, hurts, make us longed for it yet make us also fearful, because in the face of love we have no choice but to be humbled by it, be vulnerable because it is a far greater force which is incomprehensible in the level of the ego-mind, to be completely engulfed by it yet remaining open. Because to be close off to love is lonely, alienates us from a beautiful experience. Love keeps us on our toes, makes the ground under us shake so we don't take things for granted, force us into awareness, to be aware of every moment of the shapes that love takes is to become that form, is to become love.
I used to think love is limited to the all-consuming affairs of the heart with a special someone. Of course that too is very important. The soulful connection of two person coming home to embrace one another's beauty, grace and greatness. To be in the presence of your soul mate is a terrifying yet fulfilling experience, it is beyond words. It is like being in the presence of an embodiment of divinity, of seeing glimpses of god in another person. To be able to see another soul in that perspective is to acknowledge that the same divinity and pieces of heaven dwells within us and to live from that space of wonder and appreciation and love for oneself and that special someone.
Love is a moment by moment awareness,
I see it in the joy of the jogger running along in the park with his dog, I see the loving gesture of the father who attempts to get the balloon by trying to jump high for his son, I see it in the gesture of my mom who tirelessly prepare delicious dinner even after a long day at work, I see it in the appreciation of friendships between women who trust one another because they care, I see it in the smile bestowed by a stranger, I see it in the gift of nature, given unconditionally in the form of the warm sun dancing on skin, in the miracle of baby birds born and learning to fly, rain fall to cleanse us off our worries and overthinking, in the magnitude of silence when night falls and the world goes to sleep.
Have you celebrate love today?
I wish you deep, deep love.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
So in Natasha "the Mad Cartwheeler" Reilly's workshop, she got us to write an old-fashioned self-introduction, so below this is what I've written. (But this is not the most exciting part yet) You can read about her here where she blogs.
My name's Eva and I'm from a faraway place in Southeast Asia call Malaysia where it's summer all year long. (I can almost hear wows from all of you hehe) I'm a self-taught artist who has been on this artful journey for 3 years nw. B4 I had the courage to pursue full-time painting, I worked as an English/creative writing/drama teacher and tutor in gender studies, and also a filmmaker in a women's organization. I'm also a certified art therapist and is working towards facilitating workshops soon. But right now working on my artpieces is most important to me as I'm holding my 1st art exhibition in this coming May! Yay! I'm also pursuing my masters in english literature in a local university, am working hard to complete it so I can focus entirely on art.I'm 27 years old and am single, my true love is painting at this moment and I'm devoting much time and effort to make my dreams come true! I've never been to USA but sure hope I save enough to fly there someday and attend workshops and meet inspiring artists-teachers-kindred spirits!
It's like a sort of compressed summary of labels about what I do previously. Very factual information. And then Natasha got us to rip those papers of and rewrite "Who I am" without the labels of our religion, work, nationality, sex, married status, definitions that put us into boxes rather than allow us the freedom to "be".
So below is what I rewrote what "I am" made of, and I had so much fun I almost manage a cartwheel.
I'm the gaze exchanged between two lovers,
where no conversation is needed, and silence says everything.
I'm the smile of a new-born baby,
full of innocence and ageless knowing,
I'm the wisdom of the owl's gaze,
I hold all the mysteries and wonders since the most ancient of times,
I'm the full moon on a cloudless night,
guiding lost souls home,
so they may rest their fatigued bodies, mind and spirit.
I'm the rich sweetness of a cup of hot chocolate,
filling the belly with a glorious lust for life.
I'm the strength of my mother's hand,
toiling hard so her children may be fed.
I'm the sunlight dancing on my father's torso,
when he washes his car, gently humming to himself,
lost in the dance of his own private moment.
I'm the warmth in the palms where my grandmother
held my hands to walk across the busy street
I'm the memory of my grandfather's pampering love
the way he carries me on his lap,
where I relish being his favourite grandchild,
I'm the songs that sings of the ocean's secret inside a seashell
that has travel across the sea
and come home to its mother's shore,
I'm all the intricate designs of fallen snowflakes
melted away on a palm of a stranger
who has glimpsed and appreciated my beauty
I'm the rhythmic beating of all hearts,
I'm the air, the invisible force connecting everyone's inhale and exhale,
I'm the breeze that misbehaves,
waving my unseen fingers to make tree leaves sway
I'm water to quench a traveler's thirst
I'm so much,
and I'm just beginning to understand.
I'm so vast,
and I've just starting to comprehend.
The writing has got me an "AHA" moment. I suspected that besides having superpowers in painting, I might have a buried and sleeping superpower that awaits to be awakened and the superpower is writing! tada~ especially poetry!
She got us to randomly picked out from amongst prompts and I chose "sensational" and "give". So in my art journal page I coloured my hands pink which meant I give love unconditionally and freely and I give gold which means invaluable goodness, whether through my intention to help, or to paint and touch hearts in sharing my art, whether it's to pick people up when they're down, or hugging/ gently soothing them.
And my journal page look like this. Quite "Zen" like. The papers of labels we made out of ourselves we ripped it and I sticked onto the page outside the palms and coloured over it with purple and turquoise to indicate I'll let the wind of the Universe blow away my false identity so I can be renewed and free!Even though I was working on these home alone, but I had so much fun and felt absolutely like I was back to my childhood, licking an ice-cream while I played with my colours. Just being fully immersed in the creative process and enjoying the moment of experiencing creating is so healing and make me feel so alive! I can't wait to start another's teacher workshop and sharing my progress with you all!