Living courage

Reading Jen Lemen's writings and musings on her blog have always been my nourishment for the soul. And everytime she offers in her words wisdom that only comes with experience and living authentically, from the highest of truth.

Her post on 13th September grounds me to contemplate on my life lately. In her very words, "Courage is required...."

"when you know you need to be honest
when you have to make a choice between an old destructive way of thinking and a new healthier one
when you have to go to the dentist and you know she’ll know you haven’t flossed in forever
when you realize it’s time to let go of an old grievance that’s been helping you feel cozy and safe
when you know you need to drink, eat, obsess, etc. less
when you’re about to break the rules
when you need to try anything new
when you are about to assume more responsibility
when you’re trying on bathing suits or looking in full length mirrors of any kind
when you’re deciding to actually try to look pretty
when you’re owning up to having hurt someone you love
when you’re writing a new script for your future
when you’re deciding to trust someone who hurt you in the past
when you’re deciding to let the love all the way in
whenever you’re taking a chance
whenever you’re choosing to forgive
whenever you’re deciding to trust yourself
whenever you head out on a brand new path
whenever you need to say goodbye
or whenever life asks you to start all over again"

Everything resonates. I have been living from two places recently, swaying from fear to courage, courage to fear. I am making the conscious choice to be brave, and I am truly appreciating that I can be brave, that I am brave, and enjoying the rewards from making decisions based on honoring my own truth.

I am courageous, because

I have been telling my loved ones to drop the need to hold on to the past, to embrace the present, to let go of the drama, and instead live in the now.

I told someone very precious to me that he has the power to re-create his life, but first he must stop telling himself things that till so far has create only a painful reality for him. Telling himself that he is alienated from everyone else around him is very far from the truth. I reminded him that he is very loved.

I said goodbye to someone that was very dear to me, because holding on was not serving both of us. I have truly learned the meaning that when you love someone you're not afraid to let that person go. Because on a deep soulful level you know that unconditional love binds people together in a non-attached way. Nobody we love so truly will ever "leave" us.

I am owning up that I am deserving of love, and of true happiness and the best things that the Universe can offer, and is generous to offer.

I am opening myself to be honest to people, sharing my lessons and insights from my experiences with shadows.

I am throwing out my hands widely and telling the Universe that I am willing to offer its abundance because I am ready!

I am inviting new people to my life, people from all walks of life, people sharing the same passion and interests!

I am starting a new life, writing a new chapter!

I am re-learning to love my curvaceous body and buying myself more flattering dresses to be in touch with my body, sensuality and femininity!

(Me donning a new dress, after making the promise to myself to consciously get in touch with my inner goddess more =), wearing dresses make me feel pretty and happy, something that pants and trousers cannot successfully do!)

I am setting boundaries and saying no to situations and people that overwhelm me, not because I am selfish but because I know we can all come from a higher, more joyous place!

I am taking art to another whole new level, and I'm just not talking about techniques, I felt that I have a much clearer voice because I have come so far and has much more valuable gems to share, and I'm not shy to be heard!

Of course, the path is not always easy especially when one needs to cut the fear and move on with the bravery! Fear is a ferocious dragon who spurts fire maliciously, but inside us we have just the right sword to slay off its head. I believe the chances of winning is always 100%, it is not overconfidence, but faith, that we just believe we can do it!

How about you? What are the acts of courage that you've been performing lately? Have you been struggling to slay the dragons of fear? What is your dragons about? I'll love to hear you share them in the comment section or in your blog?

"Arts for Grabs" event

Last two days, Saturday and a Sunday, was when me and 2 friends, listened to our gut and proceeded to rent a booth at the "Arts for Grabs" event. We rented the place for just RM100 for two days, shared by three, that's around USD 32. It's super cheap if you ask me. It was the first time ever for 3 of us to participate in such an art bazaar, I jokingly called it our virgin exhibition.

It was really a great learning experience. Because of the limited wall space, me and Elaine, another artist, bombarded the wall with both our artworks.

(I think we look gorgeous together, I am so so vain for saying this but couldn't resist!)

Meet the artists! Elaine Wong (left) is coincidentally with the same name as my younger sister. She paints motifs and patterns and flowers and swirly curls. She uses colours rather boldly. I am so so so proud of her, she took a month leave from her day job to spend time solely to paint. You can check out her work at here. On the right is another Eva, such a coincidence, she does svarovski crystal earrings, pendants, suncatchers in the shape of angels. Gorgeous things.

Elaine's work (above)

I snapped this picture when our little humble corner suddenly is filled with potential customer. Sure looks busy! The flow of people was slow though, maybe because they didn't advertise and promote the event enough. Most of the people who came are supporters and friends of the vendors, artsy people, who do theatre, art, who are activist. The general public is not exposed to it yet! But it still is good exposure for emerging artists like us!

I sold one of my original artwork. "Spread your wings" Catherine is a friend who makes yummylicious cupcakes. She said she absolutely love the colours combination. I am so happy that she loves it because this is the first time I am attempting this style! My art is finally, being grabbed!

I am a fan of artworks on owl. I couldn't resist and bought three artworks from this sweet lady. All originals. She said she painted them when she was pregnant with her first child, and that was 12 years ago and she always felt reluctant to sell them. I am such a lucky owner of her artwork!

It was a splendid learning experience, I felt so so so blessed. In a way I felt we were guided to do this, and everything went smooth and well. We got assistance to carry tables, and made new contacts and friends. More people know I paint and they have ONLY nice and encouraging words to say. The other vendors are so gifted and friendly, they was not the least reluctant to share the techniques and the secret of their crafts! I hope we could run into one another in other art bazaars.

I have alot of gratitude fro Elaine for asking me to collaborate with her and initiating this 1st step (she is such a brave soul!), and Eva for just being who she is and charming people with her openness, positive energy and vibrance. Our booth was the first one (nearest to the entrance) and made quite an impression! Especially when we introduced ourselves, our names all start with Es!

I am just keeping this feeling of fullness and joy and carry it to my painting! Life is good, it's great actually! I believe if we dare to dream BIG anything is possible! And this is the lesson that I am learning and experiencing and letting it embed deeply in my soul!

Hi peeps,

I have not been posting consistently and more frequently due to many changes that I was going through, is still going through and hopefully, will be more benign and a smoother ride in the near future. I have moved out and now, officially, have a place of my own. It is a rocky transition but nevertheless one that empowers me. I learn to balance between taking things as it comes and making decisions that are fruitful and attempt to surrender my worries as best as I could

Amidst all these major transformation, I have found many things that are worth celebrating and to be grateful for. I believe so much that if we focus on the good, the good and better will keep coming our way.

One of the best thing is that I've made an international transaction, YAY! I sold my first painting overseas to someone living in Jakarta, Indonesia. Remember my first art display that happened not long ago? I followed my intuition to put up a booth selling my paintings not knowing what to expect and manage to make my biggest sale so far! The painting "shaman" is by far the biggest artwork and the most personal one in my collection. I learnt how to use the courier service and how to do western union transation. This is very beneficial as I am sure when I start to sell my artwork on etsy I'll be needing this experience.

The buyer, Sanjay, really loves the painting, he felt connected when he sees it. I saw the amazement in his eyes and felt amazed myself, I asked myself rhetorically whether something I painted is able to arouse such strong feelings! Look at his namecard, he is donned in an red indian outfit. He calls himself the "Chief of Happiness" and conducts seminars on positive thinking and beliefs. I love the copywriting of his business card, notice Blood type, it's B+ (Be positive, it's in my blood), it's funny and brilliant. And then I remember that's my blood type too!What a lovely coincidence, I never thought of my bloodtype that way! It's good to know!


Elaine, who is also an emerging artist and a new friend, has contacted me and asked me whether I'm open to joining an art festival that is happening this weekend. The "Art for Grabs" event has always been one art event where I've attended ever since I knew about its existence. Everytime I go I'll be thinking when it's my turn. I think it's my inner perfectionist that is in the way. I said yes to Elaine even though I didn't have that many artwork. And there's also the limitation that all art pieces on sale must be below RM 100.

There is something fascinating about collaborating in project like this with someone as new to it as me. It's our first time doing this. We are totally clueless about many things, especially how to display our booth. So fas we got the chairs, tables, cloth.

I tried to make as many small paintings for the event. Below is the "Faery of Courage", I have been contemplating alot on being brave, standing up for my beliefs now that I'm on my new path. Sometimes when there are so many uncertainties, courage and blind faith is something I learn that I must summed up to brave the strong waves (notice the flyer)!

Another piece that I did today, I applied the techniques in Kelly rae's "taking flight" and this is the result! It's call "Spread your wings". I am trying to figure out whether I like the painting, hmmmm, I think I am doubtful because the girl looks like she's tired (I think I am feeling that and unconsciously painted that state) Or is she looking zen?

This is my first "messy" painting. I am learning to get use to it! And be okay with chaos and disorder!

I am actually having a flu today, and is drinking alot of water to recover, had Indian remedies to cure it (a friend gave them to me) I hope by tomorrow I'll wake up to a healthy and flu-less me!

Sending lots of love and well-wishes for my readers/ kindred spirits to keep embarking your creative journey, and take rest when you're unwell. I need to listen to my own advice =)

I was tagged by sweet Soraya who blogs here. I learnt abit about myself as I was attempting to answer these questions!

1. Are you a dog person or a cat person? Both? Neither?

I like the elegance and mystery of the feline creatures. But I love love love dogs, even though I have never owned any, I think the saying about them being "man's (and woman's) best friend is absolutely correct! I love how they just express their love for anyone so unconditionally, the wagging of the tail, the happy bark, the wiggling of the tongue, the delightful jumping up on hindlegs to greet you! I am most certain I'm getting one as a pet in the near future when I have enough space for one, and enough extra finances to feed one!

2. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be? What would you do?

This is so difficult! I had love to go anywhere where there are abundance of culture and nature, best if its combine. Would love to go for some sort of meditation retreat to places like Egypt, Bali, Cambodia, India, Hawaii. I have been to Egypt, Bali and India on a tour with my family, would love to go again on a spiritual pilgrimage. I am drawn to places of worship, no matter if it's a temple, synagogue or a church, spiritual places fascinate me.

3. What is your fave home cooked meal?

My mum's curry chicken. it is absolutely delicious when eaten with baguette.

4. Your perfect evening is...

Watching the sunset from the balcony, soft jazzy music playing in the background, snuggling up to a good book, sipping from a cup of green tea latte, candles burning, the room smelling of lavender oil. Better if the evening is shared cuddling with a loved one, completely immersed in enjoying the company of each other in quiet bliss, letting the evening slowly melting into night time.

5. If you could be anyone in history for one day, who would you pick and why?

Hmmmmm. Another difficult one. There are so many people I admire and wish I could emulate their lives, passion, genius, wisdom and philosophy! Most of them women. I am in awe with the talented Canadian writer Margaret Atwood (still living) and Virginia Woolf (I would love to experience being her and heal her from suicidal inclination), have high respect for the compassionate Mother Theresa who changed the world with her love for humanity and her tireless effort to help the sick and the poor. I am not sure whether goddess figures like Athena, Aphrodite, Isolt, Isis, Hathor, Saraswati are real or legend, but I'd like to be them and stand in their power to know how it is like to be 100% woman and so empowered in their femininity. I would love to experience being a sorceress and perform magic rituals too! Magic has always fascinate me!

But for now, I'd like to be Susan Seddon Boulet, who paints breathtaking artwork of mythical legends and characters. Her painting is magic, usually when I look at them I felt as if the characters are moving and they're coming out from the canvas to touch my being. You should check her out, her artwork inspire me greatly! I had love to experience what is it like to be this immensely talented woman, how does her mind work? What are her world views? What are her passion?

6. A quality you admire most in others...?

Courage, compassion, wisdom, humour, gratitude

Least...?

Judgemental, bitter, angry, negativity

7. The scariest thing about ageing...

Is to regret causing hurt to someone I deeply love and never having the chance to say sorry and not having told someone you love them enough

8. At the end of your life, what is the one thing you will regret never having tried?

Singing on a stage and getting a standing ovation! I have always dreamt of singing to a public crowd and touching people's hearts with my voice and conquering the fear of singing in front of people that I know and don't know. I felt it is a more difficult dream to pursue than my artist dream because even though I know I've a nice voice but it's not steady. Perhaps I can take vocal lessons to perfect my voice!

Thank you Soraya for your reminder that (in her words) "*Psst...maybe you can take a few tiny steps toward that dream today so there will be no regrets later:) " It has been fun, fun, fun to share bits and pieces of me!