Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A lesson in Releasing and Surrendering

"When I loved myself enough,

I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits- any thing that kept me small. My judgements called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving."

Kim McMillen

I have been going through alot of changes and I am feeling a deep shift in me. I have not been blogging for a week now because I am feeling that I need all the rest I could get. I have been feeling. Vulnerability. Helplessness. Trying to find my ground and center.

I realized for too long I have been taking responsibilities for other people's burdens and trying to solve their problems. And things are showing up clearly to make me see that I need to know which are my responsibilities and which are other people's.

I am setting boundaries to that which is no longer healthy to me. Whether it is people whom I love dearly but who has been demanding too much of my energy and time. I am taking time out to take care of me. The part of me which is judgmental calls it selfish . But another part of me which is entirely made of pure love just think it is the most important thing to do now.

I am staying at a best friend's place. Just praying, meditating, journaling, meeting up with friends whose presence is comforting, who knows what I am going through and who just accepts that I am at this place now.

I am releasing and surrendering to God all that which I have not been able to let go. Learning the lesson that I cannot control everything, and trust that God will take care of everything else while I take care of myself.

Today I took a swim and with each inhale and exhale above and under water I said a positive affirmation. I asked for spiritual guidance, I bless my situations and all the people I know needed blessings and guidance.

While I cannot reveal too much about the obstacles because I am still feeling too vulnerable about sharing it in this space and I wish to protect the people who are involved, I asked (really, really with much gratitude) that you say a little prayer for me and my family.


  1. Eva, I'll pray for you and your family. I feel this post.. and every word you put down is heart felt.. In the end, everything works out..and that's not the end but just another beginning, a great new beginning with ton of bliss ! I hope you much strength to go through this phase and I'm right here to support you in all ways !! ((((**Big Hugs**))))

  2. Dear Eva-I am here to support you as well. I think it's fantastic and necessary that you take this time out for you. I also think that setting boundaries is such an important thing to do...part of us taking care of ourSELVES. I will say a special prayer for are in my heart and thoughts.

  3. Hi Eva. Thanks for sharing a part of your world with us. I shall say a prayer for you and hope that all obstacles in your life change in direction. Blessings to you. :)

  4. Dear Eva, sorry to hear that you're going thru a tough time, but its wonderful to hear that you are taking time out for yourself and being kind to yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs xo

  5. Dearest sweet Eva, i am soo sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. I feel for you and i could really relate to what you share with us here today for i was one of those "taking responsibilities for other people's burdens and trying to solve their problems".

    Today, i am alot better with dealing with such situations and setting boundaries was one of the changes i made. It wasn't easy especially when it comes to family and close friends but along my creative journey, i've learned the art of "letting go" and caring for myself.

    Have a lovely merry happy weekend and take good carez! I am sending you love and prayers to you and your family. Love to you sweet friend.

    p/s: Thank YOU so much for your love and support you are sending my way!! I hope your blogger friend Alison enjoy her little handmade gift from you. :)


  6. continue to be brave eva dear.

    you're right, the most important thing now is to focus on yourself and map out how it'll be for you after this.

    but do this my dear, with an open heart and a wise mind...let the feelings fade and see the big picture again. you may discover things that will help you in your quest. :)


  7. hello sweet eva...i have had to do this in my own life, and good for you that you are figuring this out while you are so young...i am praying for you...

  8. Dearest sweet Eva, i hope this comment finds you well and all is good! Have a lovely merry happy weekend and love to you!


  9. Dear Eva-how are you doing? I hope that you are resting, creating, replenishing youSELF. I just wanted to stop by and say Hi! and send you my love and well wishes. I am thinking of you...big hugsXXX


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