The book "Eat, Pray, Love" touched me profoundly when I read it a few years ago. And yesterday I watched the movie alone, and it was a very, very spiritual experience.
I have not been blogging so much about my creative life for almost 2 weeks now and I miss this space. This space is my meditation hall, I come here to perform my sacred ritual of writing meditation. Work has been the asnwer to my reason of missing in action. I have found a new job, a teaching job, teaching students the English Language. It's a part time thing, I meant it that way, so I could use the rest of the time to paint. But the initial stage of having new changes in one's life usually means that things can't work out as plan.
This qupte by Elizabeth Gilbert meant alot to me"
"There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts."
I was feeling a tad little down that I've sacrificed painting in the name of a more steady "work". I have allowed myself to wallow in sadness thinking I am giving up my creative pursuit (permanently) to earn a more steady income to pay my rent. Then I remembered the words of Buddha, the wisest teacher ever to grace this earth, He said we can choose our thoughts, and we, hold the final key to our own door or happiness. And He eaid that nothing is permanent, which Elizabeth Gilbert also mentioned in her book, "eventually, everything goes away".
So she also says it beautifully, "I can choose my thoughts." And that is my challenge and my sentiment. I am choosing to see that this transition to more independence is an opportunity to strengthen my spirit. I choose to see that this teaching job is not permanent, that the busy-ness is not permanent too. I choose to learn from this job, to take responsibility for my time. I look at my students, and see how this job is also a blessing. Compared to the serenity and aloneness of painting, my teaching helps balance me with reaching out to people. I am able to learn from my students, these young people from Sudan, Kazakhstan, Saudi Arabia, and thank the Universe I am able to impart knowledge, to quench the thirst of curiosity and to ignite the passion for learning.
So I am keeping faith, I will and shall and can paint again, and accept that it is not now. But soon, very very soon.