bad, bad flu VS great, great friends

I'm down with the flu today. My body has been heaty for a few days now and today it decided to be full on unwell. I have a feeling it might be my body attempting to purge and release whatever negativity I have been holding on. About work, myself, and how hard I've been pushing myself. It is asking me to slow down, forcing, actually. It's weird cause the last few days I couldn't sketch or paint anything and felt very low. Off-balance. The harder I push myself the slower I produce.

It's in the chinese blood. This being so competitive and harsh and rigid and hard about producing results. Probably because our ancestors faced alot of tough situations e.g. famine, war, flood and even though they're champion of being survivors and are known to be tough headstrong immigrants that flock to around the world; they never really learn how to just be laid-back. It's really silly when I think about it how the only war I had now is in my head, and I just have to not be so harsh on myself to win the battle, eat some chocolate, go out and walk on the grass and feel the sunshine.

I went to gym to work out today (silly me, in this flu) and felt so out of balance that I had to do deep-breathing in the locker room. Felt so much better and alive after that and more myself.

A voice in me told me to read past entries of Kelly Rae's blog, and I did and realized that the message for myself is not to rush this journey, and not be envious of anyone elses' success but instead learn how they do it.

There are many successful mixed media artists who blog but I still connect with her writing most! Learn from their failures, uncertainties, wisdom, experiences. I was too preoccupied with seeing only the success and the end and I needed to see and remember that success stories had a start too, the starting point is usually awkward and unsure and full of doubts. Rome wasn't built in one day. One of her blog entry especially "years that question and years that answer" here reminded me efforts take years and years. Patience is such a virtue and art that I am still learning to master.

On another different note. Thank God for girlfriends to uplift my spirit!Got together with a few friends from university days and went to Eunice's house and celebrated Post Valentine's Single Ladies night out at her place!We laughed and talked about *what else* Boys! How at this stage of our lives (late twenties) with our past romatic experiences we need a man who is able to love our strength (I dare say my lady friends are pretty empowered and bold and have inner strength which I so admire), support our dreams, and yet also have vision, knows what he wants, and pursue that vision too!

Above is Eunice being silly and her dog. Cutest thing ever. I had the song "I'm a slave for you" by Britney Spears playing in my head looking at this picture the way she is bending all the way to carry this snow-white creature. white fluff on white back.

More white. Many angels we have that night. This woman above has a heart and a laugh so BIG and genuine that makes me so fond of her!She is the proud owner of a handsome Siberian Husky. Small dogs are too easy for her!She prefer taming wilder ones!;)

When womanfolks get together they go crazy!The good food, the heartfelt sharing, talk and whispers of the hearts shared and exchanged, vulnerabilities exposed, nonsensical, silly talks and dirty, naughty talks (yes, I am honestly admitting this is part of what makes me laugh so hard my belly hurts!) It is completely, absolutely okay there are no romantic attachments NOW for me because these women brighten my day(and nights) and rejuvenate me so I could bring that positive energy into my artwork!I can be too intense when I'm left alone with my thoughts and they remind me not to take myself so seriously!Thank you Joeanne Lp, Eunice and Jasmine Jojo!

Hopefully this flu will vanished tomorrow and I can go back to painting!I am contemplating of using iridescent colours for that magical feeling to my wild women series artwork!I'm feeling extra chatty today, it must be all the positive energy that seeped through from reading Kelly Rae's older posts! Have not finished reading yet and is making a point to continue to read and be inspired!I hope I don't come across sounding like a stalker! *YIKES!

My nose is still runny (my nose is threatening to fall off if I rub it one more time) but my mood is singing!I really WANT my healthy body back!